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Question by Jadore: Is it okay to make a charitable donation in lieu of wedding favors?
My fiance and I are finding married in April 2nd and have been thinking lengthy and tough about what to do for our favors. He will most most likely be deploying shortly right after our wedding so we began to talk about donating to the “Heart of a Marine Foundation” since they aid out all branches of the military. My household is complete of military members as nicely as his. We do not want our guest to feel cheated out of a favor or something like that but we want to aid out a military charity as effectively. Is there an easy/cheap way to do both or should we just make the donation and write up little notes saying a thing along the lines of in lieu of favors, we’ve donated the cash to a charity rather?
Very best answer:
Answer by EarthToYou
Eh…this is a sticky topic….but to be quite truthful, guests will not outright tell you this, but they nonetheless like the edible favors. It also helps tide them over when there is a extended wait between ceremony and reception when they are hungry and are tired of waiting.
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OldBones Apr 27 2012 - 10:27 pm
I would want the favors, not the donation.
Jilly Apr 27 2012 - 11:17 pm
In my experience, nobody wants the favors they just take them to be polite. I don’t want your trinkets nor do I need the extra calories of a bag of candy. I would MUCH rather have you spend that money on a charitable donation. Even though I wouldn’t be super thrilled at the charity you chose (I just think that there are people out there who need help more – but to each their own) I’d rather someone get the benefit from that money rather than another cheap box of mints or something.
saneyaya Apr 27 2012 - 11:47 pm
Just skip the favours without any little notes, as they are not needed. At your seating place card table, put a framed message simply stating that as a tribute, you have made a donation to “Heart of the Marine Foundation.”
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Amy Apr 28 2012 - 12:10 am
i think this is a wonderful idea, forget the favors. the framed card explaining how and where you donated would be a very touching idea. I could care less if i got some trinket or candy really, thats all for keeping up with the jone’s really. i have never been to a wedding where i saw donation cards, i think it would be very nice if i did every once in a while. especially since you are going to be a military wife soon.
NinaPina Apr 28 2012 - 12:58 am
You have asked this question before and my advice is the same. Make a charitable donation. Skip the favours wihout mentioning your other generosity. They have nothing to do with each other. .
CC Apr 28 2012 - 1:11 am
I don’t think favors are needed nor desired. I hear all the time that people just leave their favors at the wedding or take it home and just leave it laying somewhere.
Favors are a waste in my opinion. I think it’s better to use the money that would actually benefit the guests..like more money on better food..drinks..alcohol.
Donating money to a charity is always good…however, I don’t think guests will give it two seconds thought about it..they will see the note, read the note, and think “uh ok”..until something else captures their interest.
jellybeancounter Apr 28 2012 - 1:55 am
No one will miss it if you don’t have favors. Favors are nice, but not necessary. Making a donation is far better than some silly trinket.
If you really want to, you can have one frame on each table saying that you’ve made a donation, but it’s not super important to do so.
BBG Apr 28 2012 - 2:35 am
The wedding reception IS the favor. No other favor is required.
You invite them to share in your special day and provide them with food, good company, etc.
Wedding favors are a ridiculous invention. They are encouraged by the “wedding industry” to make sure the “wedding industry” makes more money.
No wedding guest really gives a crap about a “favor” for their attendance. Good music, company, food, dancing, etc. is FABULOUS.
Charity giving is very important but there is no need to wear it on your sleeve. If you wish to make a charitable contribution, do so quietly. It is in poor taste to advertise it especially at a function where the hosts traditionally expect gifts. Your wedding is NOT a charitable function. It is tacky to confuse the two.
JaimieS Apr 28 2012 - 2:53 am
I don’t think there is anything wrong with making a charitable donation, but favors don’t have to be anything more than bookmarks printed on fine paper and then laminated made on your own home computer! You could put a little blurb on the back about the organization with their website. You really don’t even need to mention that you made a donation in lieu of wedding favors. It’s most appropriate to be more discreet with your giving practices. I mean, your heart is in the right place but it’s not necessary to tell everyone all about your gift at the wedding. But, it’s not bad to provide a little info about it. You could put a poem on the front about the love of country and each other by a veteran or something like that.
Jenny Lynne Apr 28 2012 - 2:54 am
While thinking about my answer and reading all of the others, out of curiousity——-I would make the donation to this very worthwhile charity and a big thank you to all the military, men and women, who protect the very freedom that we take for granted. Having said that, I would also put a say an 8 x 10 or a 5 x 7 frame on each table depending on the size of the table, with a notation that in lieu of favors a donation has been made to the “Heart of a Marine Foundation” with love and a special thank you to all of you for sharing this very special day with us. And thank goodness, you did not ask the guests to contribute. Some people do. Normally, I am for making donations to any charity quietly, with no fuss or attention. However, in this case as you are doing this in lieu of favors, which are not necessary, but a nice way to say thank you for being a part of our happy day—-then, I think it is great that your guests will be able to know that this was done as a way to say a very nice thank you for sharing this special time with you. Go for it, most favors are dumped anyway, so don’t try to do both, only the edible ones are any good anyway and if someone is upset that their bon bon or truffle is missing just because you wanted to do some good in this world, then they are to be pitied.
marrying a groomzilla Apr 28 2012 - 3:28 am
We donating to several charities and letting the guest choose which charity they want they want us to donate to. We don’t want to push our political/activist beliefs down people throats (and trust me I am VERY political) so that way they can choose which ever organization that they like.
By the door when they are leaving/giving us our gifts we will have box and business card size write up of each organization and what they do, etc.. and they pick up the card of the organization that they want and put it in the box w/ their name, etc… then after the wedding we go through the box and donate a small amount ($ 5-6 pp) to the organization that they choose. We going to have various organization from women’s rights to animal rights to helping children in need and of course veterans (since i’m a vet) so it’ll be something for everybody.
fizzy stuff Apr 28 2012 - 3:40 am
To answer your question, Yes.
Favors are going out of style. People are tired of trinkets and unimpressed by candy. It is ok to not have favors at a wedding.
And it is always ok to make a donation to your favorite charity.
HOWEVER, it is unacceptable for you to let the guests know this or write a note on it. Making a donation in someones name without their approval of the charity or request for it, is just plain wrong. People with good taste and manners make donations privately, without advertising the fact or pushing their values on others.
dani Apr 28 2012 - 3:56 am
here’s my experience with this type of situation and i think you could get an idea or two from it:
i helped put on a wedding in early october that donated to the american Alzheimer’s association instead of handing out favors and they had small cards made to inform the guests of the donation made on their behalf. they did NOT put on the card that the donation was made in the bride and groom’s name, but on behalf of the guests, so it wouldn’t seem as if they were bragging or anything.
the cards weren’t forced on the guests.. they were left in a basket by the entrance to the reception and could be picked up if they were wanted.
diamondcollector Apr 28 2012 - 4:55 am
no.
this practice is for funerals, not weddiings.