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Question by just me: Irritated by individuals who “give” charity presents but are stingy?
I am SO frustrated. I have been making an attempt to get together a Xmas for a household that is single father or mother who lost her work. three of us (my mother, myself and a good friend) all pitched in and bought some nice gifts for the young children. My mother asked her sunday school group to support by doing stockings and they gave her $ 20. I ended up having to pitch in more funds b/c you are unable to purchase and fill 3 stockings (there are 3 kids) for $ twenty. I didn’t do something elaborate but experimented with to place in what I set in my own 4 youngsters stockings. Then 1 of the girls stated she would request her daughter to aid and the girl brought us Utilized things from her house (2 make up bags, a hankie, some previous holiday lapel pins) and some of individuals “business” pencils that you get as freebies. This is a lady who is virtually well worth more than a million dollars. My family members (nor my mother or my pals family members) is not “prosperous” but we needed to give no much less than what we would have given for our own children. Why do individuals come to feel that if it is for a needy family members then some thing they no more time want or a thing from an almost everything for a dollar sort keep is “much more than plenty of”. Because when did men and women down on their luck should have significantly less than the relaxation of us? And WHY would you give Any individual a existing that you by yourself would not want to get?
I guess I need to include that I have been functioning on this since the commencing of December so it isn’t really like men and women were questioned on small notice.
Also, I would have been significantly less upset with the woman who recycled her objects had she just said she didn’t desire to assist. At least be straightforward.
Wow, to the very first poster who alluded to “beggers can not be choosers” that is really unfortunate. 1st due to the fact you are stating that they should have only no matter what other individuals are ready to give them and not no matter what they may need to have and secondly because this loved ones did not beg. Her 2 youngest youngsters are in my oldest and middle children’s courses and I discovered out what was likely on and started out the present generate. Until finally we told her to expect us Christmas Eve she did not even know.
To an individual more down the line: Indeed, regifting one thing you are unable to use (and have not utilized) is one issue but these make up bags have been filthy and who ended up the lapel pins for? The 6 yr aged girl? Or the 12 and 10 12 months aged boys? I indicate use some feeling. I do give gently used clothes away to men and women whose children want it all the time but I would in no way give an individual a bag of old stained clothing with holes and feel they may well be delighted no make a difference how badly they have it!
Oh and many thanks to everybody for the gift tips but we have concluded buying 
Every single little one is obtaining a DS and two video games then the two boys are finding miniature skateboard ramp points that they can perform with with each other or apart and mini skateboards to go with them, the woman is getting the LPS clubhouse and a set of three pets and some accessories. These have been on their lists to Santa so we understood what to get. Thanks once more.
Very best remedy:
Solution by pab
i guess beggers can be choosers
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Joe Knows Sep 14 2011 - 4:04 am
That’s pretty despicable. I agree with you, the b!tch should have declined to help at all. It’s an insult to do what that scumbag did.
Elizabeth Sep 14 2011 - 4:46 am
Now you can see why the millionaire lady is a millionaire she doesn’t spend any money.
I agree with you, just because people are doing it tough doesn’t mean anyone should give them second hand junk they no longer want, as a Christmas gift. The woman should have told you that she didn’t wish to participate.
I wonder if she’ll go around boasting to others about how she helped out a poor family at Christmas? She probably will.
Well done you, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas.
scullion Sep 14 2011 - 4:55 am
i guess (it’s better to give than to receive) means give your old crap. i hope you don’t use her junk.
Kippz Sep 14 2011 - 5:36 am
I hate when you are just trying to have a good christmas for you and your family and friends and no one will help. just try saying that you think your kids don’t deserve used items and you just want to give them a good christmas so please give us some money.
Merry Christmas!
Acidblonde Sep 14 2011 - 5:56 am
It’s mystifying huh?
I don’t know… I feel the same way.
It’s like if they’re charity cases then they don’t deserve something nice for the holidays (in their minds at least). Usually people with some wealth take pride in the gifts they give and enjoy seeing other people with nice things. I guess some people are completely clueless. Or selfish and insensitive, take your pick~
Santa I'll be good next year Sep 14 2011 - 6:08 am
WOW! I am not sure how to answer your question. I give til it hurts & still find more to give.
I would never give someone something I would not use myself.
I have worked tirelessly to try & give others a decent Christmas & to find dozens of homes for homeless pets.
I am feeling very distraught by your revelation & I do hope that what happened in your case is the exception & not the rule!
jandismommie Sep 14 2011 - 7:06 am
Some people just feel that something is better then nothing even if it is junk. I would just tell the lady thank you and then throw it away. It is a wonderful thing you and your family are doing. My family donates to the Ronald McDonald House Charities every year. If you are going to try and do the same thing next year look for deals all year long so you can get nice items for cheap.
sunburst Sep 14 2011 - 7:27 am
I agree with you 200%. Some people seem to feel that worn, dirty castoffs are good enough and that the poor should be grateful for anything at all. When I donate to charities I try to give new or nearly new nice items that anybody would like to receive and use. Just because somebody happens to be poor doesn’t mean they are any less deserving of decent food, clothing, and furniture.
hannahlabpuppy Sep 14 2011 - 7:38 am
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving people things that have been used and that you’ve gotten bored with. But make sure that it works properly and is in good condition, and isn’t something that someone would hate to receive.
Giving used items to charity: Ok, that’s what a lot of people do with old coats that they’ve outgrown or gotten tired of.
Giving cheap, boring overused items: Rude.
bum bum bee dum bum bum bee dum Sep 14 2011 - 7:49 am
When I was a poor kid, I treasured new used things. Just thought I’d add that.
Am not a wealthy person and I get new stuff or upscale secondhand for charity. (Walmart new, not Family Dollar or FAO Schwartz new.) I’m the person you’ll catch buying up awesome baby stuff to give to someone with kids or to take to a place that just GIVES away clothes for people who need them.
Bothers me when people who “don’t have to be” are “stingy” but I do understand their mindset somewhat. My own grandpa was the well off sort who gave away broken things as a lesson in thrift and to just get rid of it. Deep inside he also wanted to see how inventive and challenged, delighted, we would be.
I am as bored as HELLLLLLLLLLLLL Sep 14 2011 - 7:57 am
oh god…………
at least shes trying……..
well
i guess theyre acting like shes throwing out stuff for a dump…
oprah gives a lot but when you actually see what shes like during commercials and stuff, she is SNOTTY.
Shelley Sep 14 2011 - 8:53 am
I can understand ” re-gifting ” items and sending it to charities. I sometimes donate boxes of Chocolates I get to food banks or scented bath products or hand creams ( un opened and never used) to families in need. I can’t use these things and I’m sure someone else would love to have them.
But to give something that has obviously been used many times before isn’t the way to go for Christmas family. by all means donate it to the Salvation army to put in their thrift stores or so they can put it to good use but to give it as a Christmas gift to me seems like no effort is being put in.
I always find that those who are not that well off themselves tend to give more then those who can easily afford it. I’m not that rich myself but I am comfortable so I donated what I could to families in need. I just feel bad that I wasn’t able to do more. When ever I’m out buying things for other families for Christmas I do what you do. I buy what I would give my kids ( if I had any) for Christmas. I think that is what Christmas is all about. I hope that when I have a family of my own we will be able to make Christmas brighter for another family not as fortunate as we are. I think it’s an important lesson for kids, especially this time of year when they’re all ” I want this and I want that.” You really learn to appreciate what you have when you realize that not everyone is as lucky as you.
We~WaLk~bY~FaiTH~nOt~By~SiGht Sep 14 2011 - 9:38 am
I believe that donating anything to a worthy cause is going above in beyond in a way. Many people do not even donate anything at all. Giving used items is acceptable but donating USED make-up bags and handkerchiefs is just rude. I think it all boils down to what kind of a person he or she is. I like to remember the story of the poor woman who donated all she had to the poor even when she herself could barely survive without that money. The rich man, on the other hand, donated a great deal of money. This donation, however, did not affect his lifestyle in any way. What I am trying to say is some people give just to say they have given while others give out of the goodness of their hearts.
Penguin Chicky Sep 14 2011 - 10:07 am
I 100% agree with you!
Growing up after my parents divorced we were really poor (my dad is not a nice person … its a long story!)
Anyway we often relied on charity because my mother had no money. Now I have money I like to give when I can. I’ve wanted to help a family like you and will do in following years … I would have gone out and bought toys etc … not second hand things!
That woman is cheap … a millionaire and she could not even give $ 100 … just remember that saying from the bible that its easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle then for a rich man to get into heaven.
Just remember what you are doing will make their Christmas!
sugar.spyce Sep 14 2011 - 10:39 am
why is it that, all the first answerers give the most idiotic answers?
anyway…
i know what you mean, it really gets to me too. i remember we went on vacation and a family gave us some toys to take for their relatives’ kids. you should have seen the toys. they were broken, filthy and old! the people were rich. the man was a university professor. I expected something a little better; even if it was used. so i realize that some people like to make others feel low, and they do it in such a filthy way that they become the lowest of all.
i think what you are doing is marvelous and kids love little things. buy loads of candy and little puzzles (kinder surprise) and they will love it. you don’t need to spend too much money on it. it also depends on the age of the kids, so i am sure you can figure it out.
As for the “donor” when you do get back on your feet and have some momey to spare….get her something really nice. a thank you card & a gift basket? it will be a nice gesture on your part and i hope she will realize that it’s not always about the money…
merry christmas