.png){kind=logo}
Problem by Becki: End this sentence, fellow authors?
I am composing a story, and I got stuck on this one particular sentence. I experience like it can be detrimental to the reader, so I cannot just take it out or change it, but I truly can not think of how to complete it. So, suggestions?
“He had the polished match of a wealthy entrepreneur, the suave walk of a ______ ______, and the capabilities of a _____ ______.”
I want two words for each, an adjective and a sort of individual, for repetition’s sake. 
I was considering somewhere along the lines of “playboy,” only something with no the detrimental connotations, for the first word. For the 2nd, perhaps something comparing him to a handsome gentleman? Is there a term for really hot guys? (And remember to don’t do Greek god comparisons–I attempt to stay away from individuals exaggerations…)
Thanks for your support, men! 
Very best solution:
Solution by Nati V
feautures of a handsome gentlemen stroll of a rich king ?? idk i used lol goodluck
What do you believe? Remedy beneath!
Comments are closed.
Julianne T Mar 11 2010 - 8:58 am
He had the polished suit of a wealthy entrepreneur, the suave walk of a model, and the features of a sculpted man.
I don’t know. That wasn’t good at all. It’s late, so my brain is not working too well.
Hope this helps
nbzone Mar 11 2010 - 9:12 am
How about the suave walk of a “gigolo.” (To me, gigolos are usually confident). And, the features of an athlete. (That one goes without saying – strong, chisled, etc., etc., etc.)
S&SJG Mar 11 2010 - 10:07 am
“He had the polished suit of a wealthy entrepreneur, the suave walk of a ______ ______, and the features of a _____ ______.”
For the 1st one, maybe ‘Japanese businessman’ or ‘Wall Street stockbroker’?
For the 2nd, maybe ‘New York model’?
* Oh, and somebody said ‘athlete’ would work well, which it would. Probably.
Ybom Mar 11 2010 - 10:13 am
Sounds like you really want him to be a playboy though! You might could use swinger or polyamor. To kill any possible other negative connotations you could front it with words like innocent or trusting.
For the second, put yourself into it. What is the idyllic guy for the comparo? Could it be a cowboy or a fireman? Doing this should be an honorable compromise away from the “god complex.” Front it with sexy, rugged, or desirable and you’re done (or thes. sexy).
anonymous user Mar 11 2010 - 10:37 am
“He had the polished suit of a wealthy entrepreneur, the suave walk of a drunken sailor, and the features of a well seasoned Caribbean pirate.”
Is it Jack Sparrow?
Please tell me it’s Captain Jack, and you’re writing a new sequel.
Tear G Mar 11 2010 - 10:39 am
Walk of a cultured man, and the features of a well-bred prince?
Lana Mar 11 2010 - 10:44 am
I wanna say, “____ charmer.”
)
Seasoned? Confident? (< - Alliteration!
While you don’t like the greek comparisons, I think Adonis would be magnificent here.. Hmm.
For the second, find a painter or sculptor you like, and use the last name.
e.g.
“Michelangelan (“of Michelangelo”)”. .. I want to fill this in with something similar to “model” or “subject” but I don’t like the flow of either of them with that word.
If not,
I think “Archetypal” is a GREAT word.
Why not try alliteration for all three? I love repetitive alliteration.
E.g.
“He WORE the polished suit of a endowed entrepreneur, the suave walk of a confident charmer, and the face of a michelangelan masterpiece.”
Wore works better, because you can wear a walk and a face, but HAD doesn’t right with a suit. It makes it seem like its carrying it.
Also,
I’m not fond of my second one, but it’s late.
Contact me and I’ll help you think of something better.
What do you think of my ideas?
P.S – going with the hated “Greek” theme,
the last one would work well as
“and the face of an archetypal Adonis”.
At least then you’re acknowledging that its clicheed, right?